The Revitalising Health Podcast

What I Learned On Retreat

• Gabby Pavlovic • Episode 83

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Going on a retreat in Lutruwita/Tasmania was such a nourishing experience in so many ways. Listen to this episode to hear key learnings and realisations gleaned throughout and after this unique retreat experience, including:

  • Reconnecting with spirit through nature
  • The power of our senses for grounding back into our body
  • The benefits of phone-free time
  • The beauty and awe of connecting on a deep level with other women

Links:

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SPEAKER_00:

Hello, good to be back, especially after the last episode, which was I guess I hadn't been here for a while. So I was just really touching base with you guys and just letting you know where I'd been and what had been happening the last few months. If you haven't listened to episode 82, I would go back and do that now because it lays a bit of a nice scene for what we're talking about today, which is what I learned on retreat. Because in the middle of October this year, 2025, if you're listening live, I went to a retreat in Lutruita, Tasmania, and it was absolutely magical. Uh, first retreat I've actually ever been on, and I really, really enjoyed it for so many reasons. And I want to share with you today about what I learned from that and sort of like my key things that really stuck with me, not just whilst I was there, but upon reflecting on it now being at home, just kind of seeing what things really can be integrated into my life, whether that's daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, the things that I can really help to support my well-being and therefore be able to show up for the things, the people, the passions that I want to show up for in life. That's um what we want to talk about today, the retreat and what I learned from that. But if you haven't listened to episode 82 yet, I definitely recommend you go and listen to that because it sets a little bit of a foundation for, well, I guess like why I needed to go or chose to go on a retreat in the first place. But what's interesting is that the intensity of the few months leading up to that. Um, like I actually had booked my ticket to the retreat before I kind of had that really stressful, you know, sick illness sort of f time, which was basically August through to like early October. Uh, there is a fly buzzing around here as well, and I tried to get it out, but for some reason it just loves to hang out with me today, so that's totally fine. So if you hear a little buzzy buzz, that is the fly. It's the cat's job to get the flies. You know, they don't pay rent, their one job is to catch the flies, and um, they haven't done it, they've really slacked off today, so I'll be having words. Uh, but for now, let's talk about this retreat, which honestly is life-changing for me personally. Uh, I want to know, have you been on a retreat? Curious to hear what kinds of retreats have you been on? I know there's so many different types of retreats these days. When I think of the word retreat, I think you're retreating from the busyness of life, you're retreating from your sort of usual sort of space or location where you live, work, whatever, and you're going somewhere that is a change of scenery, a change of pace, a change of routine, and it's pulling you out of the busyness so that you can retreat from all that, sort of come back and pull yourself away from all that so that you can reconnect with yourself and sort of align your inner compass true north again. That's what a retreat means to me. I don't know what kinds of retreats you've been on, if you have been on retreats, but this one was very much that sort of helping the health and the well-being of your mind, body, soul on a real holistic level. And that's what I really wanted to get out of it, and I'm so glad that I did. So let's rewind a little bit. This retreat was run by Chantal Yates, who, if you go back to episode 81, was actually the guest of that episode. So you might even like to go back and listen to that one now, episode 81, where Chantelle and I speak about her experience with chronic fatigue and how she was able to navigate that in a really interesting way. And I think it relates to a lot of what we talk about here about being able to listen to the body and step back a little bit and retreat in a sense. Retreat, surrender, be okay with where you're at, so that you can traverse that and navigate it in a way that only you can do that. So definitely go back and listen to the episode we did with Chantal, episode 81, and keen to hear your takeaways from that, as I usually am. So here we are today, the retreat. So Chantal ran her retreat in this beautiful part of Tassie Coles Bay, which if you're familiar with Tasmania, is near Fraysney National Park, and it was just such a I mean, I'd never been to Tasmania before, and I think there's something about that place that really, really resonated with me. And you know, I had family who have been there and they've said you'd really love Tassie, and I was always saying, Yep, I I intend to go there, I I will get there. I'm very excited and keen to plan a trip there. Then this retreat came up and Chantel was talking about it. I sat with it for a bit and thought, okay, I'll sleep on this, I'll kind of see if it works for me. And there was definitely a lot of resistance. Obviously, it's you've got to try and organise time off work and other commitments, you've got to put in a financial investment. And I mean, those are the main things, time and money, really, when you're sort of thinking about something like that. But also the justification for it when in this world that we live in, there's so many responsibilities and commitments and you know, things that we're trying to focus on and strive for. And when I say that out loud, I'm like, of course I need a retreat because that's a lot. Everyone has a lot on their plate. I'm not exempt from that. Everybody has different types of things on their plates and the degree of difficulty and stress that it brings to their life, or not even stress, but just the sheer amount of stuff that we have to think about. That's different according to the individual, but we all have it. If we're living in this busy modern world, you know that you have that stuff that you just are constantly thinking about and having to keep tabs on and life admin, all that stuff, you know. Some people like to call it adulting, whatever you call it. It brings a lot of mental capacity and energy. And so, of course, I needed a retreat. So once I had realized, you know what, this is going to be really, really good for me. I just I was two feet in and I was like, let's do it. So I said to Chantel, yep, lock me in, let's do it. I'm excited. And then basically after I committed to that was when things went downhill health-wise, and I, you know, got really sick and it just didn't seem to resolve itself, which it usually does. And that is the topic of the previous episode, episode 82, where I talk about that whole time, and I'm just so glad that I had the retreat to look forward to throughout that because it made it so much easier for me to traverse what was actually quite a bit of a struggle. But go back to episode 82 if you want to get some context there. Otherwise, I would I just want to launch into what I learned on this retreat. So, firstly, I just want to have a big, big thank you to Chantal for putting this together and also for her lovely friends and colleagues, Kate and Alice, who helped co-facilitate the four days that we were there. You know, Kate, you are an amazing cook and an amazing person. And Alice, you are such a great spaceholder. Like you were just a magic trio, the three of you, honestly. And it was just really potent, the love that went into everything that you did over the retreat. So I'm just very grateful for that and want to express that here before we talk about all the amazing things on retreat. And I just also want to pay my respects to the Palawa people of Latroita, Tasmania. And it is such a sort of small place, Tasmania, I guess, because I realized you could probably drive from one end to the other in like four hours or something. I feel like someone said that. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm very bad with spatial awareness and geographical things, but I felt like there was a really deep connection to the land there, and there's a lot of respect for the really rich cultural and biological history of the land. And I think the even the geology of Tassie is a really interesting thing, which I would like to learn more about. But one of the participants on the retreat was telling me about the the kind of the rock bed in Tasmania being quite different to the mainland and the reasons for that, and I was quite fascinated because I love to nerd out over geology and those kinds of things. But but yeah, I just really want to thank the ancestors and the stewards of that land for not only nurturing and protecting that land, but also for allowing me to spend time there and to feel grounded with the earth and the spirit of the land there. I felt very, very connected to place while I was there. I felt very connected to nature. Nature is for me my connection to spirit. Sometimes when people talk about spirituality, it can mean different things. I'll refer back to the episode I did with Pia Keinock where we talk about spirituality being different from religion. For some people, their faith, their religion is their form of spirituality. For me, it's connection to nature. That is where I feel deeply connected as a spiritual being. And that was really heightened when I was in Tassie. So I want to thank the spirits, the ancestors of the land for allowing me to tap into that and respect to the elders who exist today and who are emerging as part of descendants of that land because it is something that no doubt they are very proud of, being able to call that land their home and nurture it and maintain it and protect it and make it available for generations to come. So I feel very grateful to be able to be in that place for the short time that I was, and I very much look forward to returning there. But until then, let's talk about this retreat. Now I'm not sure if I mentioned this in the last episode, but I booked this retreat before I was unwell, but it was almost as like as if I as soon as I booked the retreat, it because I knew I was going to have some time to rest and rejuvenate, it it perhaps it was some kind of subconscious permission to actually allow myself to let go of all that I had been holding on to physically, cathartically. I do think that there was a small element of that. I do feel like it is the best thing that I've ever done for myself is taking myself on this retreat. And I want to tell you why, and just really kind of pinpointing my key learnings and experiential lessons, understandings, things that I have taken from this retreat. The number one thing was I mean, these are in no particular order, actually, so I'm not gonna number them, but one of the most potent feelings I walked away with was this feeling of my spiritual practices are sacred. So what I mean by that is they are non-negotiable, and the thing is they had become negotiable. Like the last year or so, I would say my spiritual practices have fallen by the wayside, and I think that has had a big impact on my nervous system because I find that these practices are able to help me regulate my nervous system so that it can adapt to stress because that's the whole point of nervous system regulation is to be able to adapt to stress and deal with life stresses. It's not being able to be calm all the time, it's actually being able to be like, okay, yep, that's stressful. I'm in a stressful situation, I can navigate it, I have capacity to navigate it. So when I say my spiritual practices, I'm talking about, and you might call these things different things, right? You might say, you might not vibe with the word spirituality, yeah. You might say, these are my mindfulness uh rituals or my routines or my self-care things, what like whatever you call them, you call them what you call them. I call them my spiritual practices. And they include things like meditation, moving meditation, which might be gentle, slow walking or gentle movement. Sometimes doing some more yogic type poses and postures, engaging my body, engaging the breath in a really conscious way. A little bit of Tai Chi is really good for that gentle movement where you're integrating the breath and the slowness, and it's really helping to cultivate energy and expand your capacity. There are a few things. Sometimes I like to do a bit of journaling, not always. Sometimes I find it's too intellectual to write down things unless I'm doing a bit of a stream of consciousness style journaling where I'm not really thinking and I'm just kind of writing from the heart. I feel like that can be quite nurturing as a spiritual practice. Say after I've pulled an oracle card or something like that, and I just want to tap into the messages there. So there are so many different things, but the thing is, all of those things had just fallen away the past year or so. And those things are really what helped to set me up of a day, of a week, and just feeling like I'm able to respond to things better. And when I say better, I mean in a more regulated way, responding rather than reacting, responding with authenticity and conviction rather than people pleasing and ruminating on things. I don't not do those things when I have an engaged spiritual practice or range of practices, but I feel like I am way more susceptible to that more reactive state when I don't have that baseline, and that baseline is set when I do these practices. So one thing that I was reminded of on retreat is that those practices for me are sacred and they really are non-negotiable. They really are something that I need to factor into my regular routine so that they can actually do what they're meant to do and support me. I remember one of my lecturers when I was studying neuropathy saying the number one thing about helping people to take their herbal medicine or whatever is for them to actually take the medicine, you know, because it's easy to say this is good for this, and you know, at this dose, it's gonna be supportive for this organ system or this blah blah, but you've got to actually take it for it to work. So I realize I've actually got to do these spiritual practices for me to see the benefit, and this is the case with so many things, right? How many things in your life are you like, oh, I know this really helps me, but I'm just not doing it, you know? And I want you to understand, like, if you're like me and you can sometimes fall into that self-critical place, you'll be thinking, Oh gosh, yeah, Gab, you know, I've really like slacked off doing my meditation or even going to the gym or going for that, you know, really nurturing walk with a friend once a fortnight or whatever, where we can really connect deeply and it really feeds my soul. And I'm just, I'm just not doing it right. Like I'm just I'm doing it wrong. I want you to just pull yourself up there and just remind yourself that you're doing your best. And there's so many reasons why we fall off the bandwagon. And sometimes it's because we genuinely don't really need to do that thing anymore, like it's not really helping us. Maybe it did, but now it's not. Other times there are multiple other reasons why, like, it's just not a priority for us at the moment. Doesn't mean it won't be again, but foster a sense of curiosity around, oh, that's interesting that I haven't done that for a while. And just be compassionate towards yourself that that's where you are at the moment. Because when you surrender to that, like, oh, that's just where I'm at, it's actually so much easier to then move forward and decide, okay, maybe I'll bring it back in, or maybe I'll try this instead. Maybe I'll just sit with it for a bit and see if there's anything else that actually might be more supportive for me at this point. And so that compassion curiosity actually transforms that self-criticism and that uh even self-doubt at times, so that it actually can work for you because you're always going to respond better when you treat yourself with respect and compassion. So definitely a practice, something that doesn't come easy to a lot of us, but that's your reminder for today to be a bit more compassionate to yourself if you have fallen off the bandwagon with a few things. So the reason why the retreat reminded me that my spiritual practices and routines are sacred to me is because we did so many of those things, and I was just so happy, content, at ease, feeling peaceful, because it was like a coming home. It was like, oh, remember this is what we used to do. Remember, this is what used to nurture us and love us, and so no wonder I got so absolutely cooked like the months before the retreat, because it had gotten to like a bubbling point where like it was just all that sort of dysregulation was just spilling over, and I just couldn't deal with it. But there were certain things that we did on the retreat that really helped to remind myself that oh, I really miss this. That was things like slow walking in nature. There was one particular time where we walked out into the bush behind the houses we were staying in, and we had an opportunity to collect a couple of things from the bush that helped to symbolize to us how we were going to nurture ourselves more. We were looking for objects in the bush that helped to signify nourishment for us and a couple of other things. I thought that was really beautiful, and then we came into a circle and explained why these certain objects that we found meant what we thought they meant. And there was a moment when I was out walking in the bush by myself looking to see what would speak to me, what objects would speak to me. And there was a just a bunch of boulders in the middle of this little clearing, and I I love rocks, I really do, and I just was like, I really need to climb up and sit on that big one, and so I did. I climbed the rock and I just sat there and I looked out into the distance and I just started crying because I was like, this is where I'm meant to be right now at this point in time, like this amongst nature, I am in it, I am of it. It is exactly how things are meant to be right now, and I hadn't had a moment like that in a while. Sometimes people call these glimmers, you know, it's like the opposite of a trigger, it's like a little moment of peace and contentment, and it at sometimes at its best point, it's a revelation, a real deep understanding, a realization. And that was probably one of the most memorable moments from the retreat was reconnecting to nature, to my spirit, my understanding, my purpose, where I was, why I was there. And that was really special to me. So that was one example of a spiritual sort of practice. We did lots of grounding and checking in and meditations, guided meditations, which they were just absolutely beautiful. That Alice and Shani put those together, a really, really lovely selection of like diverse ones that helped to sort of cater for wherever you're at in your journey of mindfulness. Anyone can do this, it wasn't some really deep meditation, and you're sitting there for an hour. A lot of the time we were doing this before we were eating or before we were about to do another activity or a little bit of learning about the microbiome because this particular retreat was a microbiome retreat, where of a morning after breakfast, Shanny would tell us and teach us a bit about the microbiome. It was really nice to sit and hear Chantel talk about the microbiome in a really easy to understand way, and sometimes I think that we are too technical and too detailed about things, but it was just really refreshing to talk about poo, I'll be honest with you. That was the best thing because I talk about poo all the time. Now I don't know what your upbringing was like, but I feel like we talked about poo all the time and still do. The dinner table always it always comes to poo. At at some point we talk about poo. But I also trained as a naturopath, so we know how to really analyse poo. If anyone knows poo, it's a naturopath, yeah. So it was just so great to talk about the health of our gut and the bugs that are living in there and how they affect our health in a way that was really different to sort of what I'm used to. And well, not super different, but just nice hearing someone else frame it in a way that was really informative, but also just really easy to understand and integrate in a practical way into your life, which I think is not everyone can do that. Not everyone can get complex information and concepts and then help to condense it down into a way that people can be like, I get that, I understand it, I'm gonna take it into my daily routine. And Chantel absolutely nailed that. So that was one part of the daily routine was learning about the microbiome. But we did those meditations before, those kind of more intellectual things, or before eating, as I said, or as part of its own focus for the day, like if we were having a particular activity that required us to check in and go inward and reflect in a way and then share those reflections, whether that was in the form of meditative drawing. I'm not sure if there's a particular term for that, but I found that really helpful. So, for example, you have a meditation, sometimes afterwards you journal on what came to you. This time, instead of writing the words, you actually draw what is coming to you. And it's not an intellectual activity, it's actually getting into your heart space and what actually has come up into your consciousness while you were while you were there in that sort of deep receptive state. So we did so many awesome things, indoors, outdoors, there was just such a good variety. Even like going for a cold plunge, you could consider that a spiritual practice. It's also like, you know, obviously a physical thing, but seeing the the joy and the light and the laughter in the other ladies' eyes when they were jumping in the water, and I felt that it was just such a deep connection and like with nature, with each other, with ourselves. There were just such a variety of spiritual things, but I I found them to be quite a spiritual connect when we did these things. So that was probably one of the most important things I took away was the practices that nurture my spirit are sacred, and I need to prioritize those in my day. And I'm not gonna go away and say I'm gonna do, you know, an hour meditation every morning before I have breakfast, or you know, I'm gonna cold plunge. I'm like, I actually can't. I don't have access to that, you know. But I can start with something really simple, something really small, and then I'll work my way as things become habitual. Because that's the thing, like making things a habit is the first step, and then you can expand that habit to grow so that it becomes more and more supportive for you. So I am holding myself accountable here, and you are welcome to hold me accountable. I'm saying here, I'm going to start to do at least a five-minute sort of meditative check-in in the morning. But I think I can do longer, but I'll start with a five minute. And there are a few other things, but I think I'm gonna after this episode sit down and journal on that and just sort of note down a few things that I think would be the most manageable for me. But at least that five-minute check-in in the morning, especially on the days where I need to chuff off to the office or whatever, and I've got to commute and I want to start the day feeling not like I need to go, go, go, like I want to start slow, and yeah, so I'm committing to that. Being on retreat also reminded me of the power of our senses. So, probably the most, I guess, memorable aspect of talking about senses was with the food that Kate made. Oh my goodness, like some of the most delicious food, but you know what was really cool? It was really not complicated cooking techniques, really simple food that you can make at home, but it's because someone else made it for me. I didn't have to wash the dishes, and it was just presented with such love and care and finesse that it was it just added a whole nother level. And ever since I have come home from retreat, I've put a bit more effort into plating rather than just slapping it all in a bowl. And not to say that that's a bad thing if that's all I've got time for, but when I do have the time to take the effort just to arrange things nicely on the plate, to have that balance of colours and smells and textures, it it just makes a real difference to the way you connect with your food and just being grateful for where the food has come from, who grew the food, you know, the environment in which it grew, the microbes in the soil, the water that hydrated it and fed it, the sun that helped the plants to photosynthesize and all these sort of things, and the people who harvested it. And that's all before it gets to the kitchen where it's prepared lovingly, and you can smell the aromas, and you can, you know, chat about your day while you're cooking and connect with each other on another level. It's it's a real social aspect being able to engage that with food consumption and preparation. And food is just one way to really engage those senses in terms of you've got your smell, the sounds of all the cooking and and the laughter and the chatting, and then you sit down and you're able to just really sit with that and have a moment with it, and then finally be able to taste it, and you've got all these amazing textures, and good healthy food can be such deep nourishment, other than you know, the nutritional content, you know. Like, yeah, it's important that you get a good, balanced diet with different nutrients. But that is a very sort of mechanistic way to look at food. Food is so much more than that. Food is connection, food is soul, food is deep, deep nourishment, and food is at the heart of it, I think, also quite a social thing as well. It helps bring us together. Food preparation. Think of you know all the big holidays that people take every year. There's most often feasts involved, and everybody shares their favourite recipes. It is something that I find quite special. And for a lot of people, cooking and providing food is their love language. So it's no surprise that when I talk about, you know, being reminded of the power of our senses, that the food that we ate on retreat was such a big example of that. But even when we were doing the meditations and things like that, sometimes we would be able to just be receptive of our surroundings and listen to the sounds of the birds or hear any other sounds in the environment, feel, you know, your butt on the couch or the chair or the floor, and you're engaging your senses so that you can become more in tune with what your body is feeling and where it is in space. And there was even one evening where we did foot spars, and so we had all these beautiful essential oils, and they were such great smells, and then be able to have that contact directly with our feet, and that nice hot water, just such a a nourishing activity. And in our goodie bags that Shani gave us, she made this beautiful rose heart oil to sort of put on our heart space whenever we feel like we needed to ground. And she said, you know, all you've got to do is get a couple of drops, rub it in your hands, and then before you do anything, just hold your hands up to your face and just gently sort of cradle your face and just really smell that beautiful rose, really feel the nourishment and the love from this beautiful oil that you'll be able to adorn yourself with and show yourself a bit of love with. I thought that was really special and so simple. Like those of you who are really into your skincare, how can you really help to incorporate that in a really slow conscious, almost meditative way where you're just engaging with the product in front of you and saying, you know, this is really, this is really nurturing me, this is really supporting me. Not just, oh, slap on a bit of moisturizer, you know. So I thought that was a really special thing, was being able to engage the senses and knowing that, yeah, that is so important to be able to do that every day. One of the next big things that I really took away from this retreat, another reminder for me, is that nature is the best healer. You know, in naturopathic medicine, there is the principle of vis medicatrix nature, which means the healing power of nature. Arguably my favourite principle of all the principles. And Tassie was such a great example of that because here in Melbourne the weather is pretty crazy, but Tassie is next level because it's this island surrounded by all this sea and ocean and wind and weather patterns are just gnarly at times. So the day I got there when I landed in Hobart, it was just like wind, rain, sun, repeat that day, but like really intense. And like what was really cool is that I loved all of it. I loved being in the elements, like getting my, you know, face smashed with the wind and then water. I actually felt so alive because up until that point I had spent a lot of time inside, whether it was inside the house or inside an office, and I felt so deprived of fresh air, natural light, those things that we really need to thrive. You know, we're biological organisms, we're animals. We need to be outside and have that connection. And I didn't really care what the weather was doing because I was just so happy to be outside and know that I was going to spend as much time outside as I could on this trip. And the realization of that made me so happy. There was one point where we went for a walk on I think Mount Amos might be the name of the mountain at Fraysenay National Park, and we actually got hailed on, and it was so great. It it was just such a special time, you know. It wasn't heavy Queensland hail, like golf balls gonna knock you out. It was like really fine, almost like snow, and it was there for about two minutes and then disappeared. It was just so magical. So the weather is one example of nature being very healing and being able to enliven you and awaken those senses and your connection to place and where you are. But there were also things like I stayed, this is before and after the retreat. I stayed at my cousin's place. Shout out to Oliver and his partner Yannica, who put me up for a couple of nights. It was so awesome to be in their little cabin in the woods. The water there, absolutely pristine. So their water is coming straight from a fresh water source, even before it's treated. It is like so, so pure. Ollie was telling me that people actually come there to collect water to take home to use. It is that pristine. And water to me, when we're talking about nature as a healer, water is really a great example of that. When you have really fresh quality, flowing water, you can even see in natural systems how all the other organisms, plants, animals, fungi, you name it, they really thrive when they've got a really good water source and water system. So that was really lovely, just to have access to that. And what a treat, you know, to be able to come from suburban Melbourne to go to basically a cabin in the woods for a couple of nights. And we were surrounded by patty melons. Like these guys are living in such a cool spot. I'm very happy for you two to be there. I know Ollie listens to the podcast, so shout out to you, cuz. Thank you so much. This was one of the best experiences I had, and I can't wait to catch up with you guys again. But the water was amazing, and that's just one example of nature as a healing force, essentially. And I think the land itself is powerful. Connection to place, to environment, to country is something that I think is really important when we're going back to not that spiritual aspect, but also the health. So the health of the land in which we live or in which we travel has a big impact on our state of health and wellness and the state of the wellness of the community. When I say community, perhaps I mean to say communities, because there's so many different communities in terms of organisms living in very complex ecosystems, and then that's even before you get to the human communities. I think all of it ties in really well, and having a healthy environment and a self-regulating environment, because a healthy environment is able to sort of self-organize and regulate itself like a human body does. Like you give it all that it needs fresh air, quality water, quality nutrition, joy, things that light up your soul, good sleep, ways to deal with all types of stress, social connection, love, all of these things work together to provide a healthy system. And that goes for natural systems and it goes for human systems too. Which leads me into the next point human connection. Potentially the best thing that I got from this retreat. I just have to say, women connecting on a deep level is insanely powerful, and I was absolutely reminded of that during this retreat. It's difficult to really explain that level of connection because it's like one of those things when you're in a space like that, a closed container that is sacred, and I can't even explain how beautiful and nurturing, and I feel like I've said the word nurturing like 50 times in this episode. But like that's honestly how I felt. Like, really, I felt held. I felt I'm gonna get emotional now. I felt honestly really held and really cared for by these women who I had never met. I'd met Chantel and I'd met Danny before, who was a lovely nutritionist who came on the retreat, but I'd never met anyone else before. And I felt like spending the days with these amazing, inspiring women just really it took me to another level. It really did. And it's different to just like having a casual catch-up with your friends when you go for a cuppa or a walk or whatever. It takes you to a deeper knowing, a deeper understanding of each other, even if you don't know each other. Yeah, it's it's the power of that closed container which allows you to feel safe, and there's a certain primal nature of women connecting that feels so natural and so healthy, and that is how I felt while I was there. And I think the ability to connect in a small group to have a closed container like that is absolutely essential to feeling safe. And you know, on reflecting since I've been back, I thought that's why I love running group ERT sessions so much, because I always like to keep the groups small and they always work better when they're more intimate. Like people get so much more out of the group when it's not like as many as you can cram in, when it's a really nice contained number, like eight people or less. It is just such a nice it's not just nice, like it's it's really you're able to connect on another level. There was so much that I took from this retreat that I have been able to integrate into my daily life, and I feel so grateful, and I feel like that's a really special thing that I've been able to take because I am the type of person who can go off and learn something and you know take it in mentally. I'm not always the best at embodying it and making it into a practice and taking action, but I actually feel like with this, I've been able to do it, and I think it's because with the retreat, it wasn't just like a weekend, like it was four days of consciously showing up, being connected, giving myself what I needed each day. I slept so well. I went to bed when I was tired, which is not something I'm good at. I often don't go to bed when I'm tired at home, which is something I'm unpacking. I think there's a few reasons for that, but that maybe can be the topic of another episode when I'm navigating that more, when it's more front of mind. But I was just able to listen to my body's cues on retreat because I wasn't distracted by noise. I think a big part of that was not having my phone with me. Like that was one of the best things that I did was I had the phone on me and I checked in with Alanor maybe once a day just to see, you know, how you gone, how's your day been? Cool, I'm gone back. You know, it was just like a real little sort of touch point. But I didn't need to be scrolling, I didn't need to be reading emails, I didn't need to be connected to the world, and I think that's something that relates to this last point of human connection being so important because in a world where we're seemingly so connected online, we're actually so disconnected in reality. And there was no more sort of contrast and comparison with that than when you take away the phone. When you take away your phone, you actually realize, oh gosh, how insidious this little device has become and the behavior that comes from using it so often. We're so used to having it with us around us all the time that we don't know who we are without it, and that honestly is pretty scary. So to be able to put that phone away, I think was a big part of it. And that's one thing that I noticed was that when I came back home, if I have my phone around me, it's like it can go off at any time. Little buzzes can come through, texts, messages, whatever, notifications of any kind, and you can just pick it up and look at it. Like it seems like a really innocuous, like a nothing behavior. Oh, yeah, just look at it, it's fine. But once you look at it, you're trapped in there and your your poke your focus is pulled. Whereas if it's not even there as an option, then you don't have to be constantly on. Cause I noticed that with the frequently checking and being able to be switched on means that you can't actually switch off. So part of the ability of a human to connect with themselves and other humans, I think, is really hindered by modern-day smartphone use. And I know so many of you know that and are aware of it, but it is one of those things that it's become so common and normalized that we forget the impact that this has on us as social organisms, as a social species who thrive off connection. So phone free time was one of the best things. And I've done a few things since I've been back to help sort of curb phone use, and it might be putting my phone in another room while I'm doing things. I mean, I was pretty good with this before retreat, but when I'm socializing and when I'm with people, I don't like to take my phone out. I don't think there's a need to just be on your phone, and I actually find that I'm pretty happy to not have my phone with me when I'm socializing, sometimes to the point where like someone does need to contact me and they can't because I'm just busy connecting and holding space for the people or with the people that I'm with. So that wasn't a difficult thing. It was more like when you know I'm sitting doing work or doing something else, and then the phone's just there and it can go off. So even not having it near me, if I know that like I'm not needing to be contactable for whatever reason, then I can just set some quiet time, put it on do not disturb, put it in another room, whatever, that actually has helped a lot. And obviously, depending on what kind of work you do, what kind of responsibilities you have, and whether you're caring for certain people and have other sort of obligations, your phone use might need to be different and when you need to have it available, that kind of thing. Obviously, take this with a grain of salt. This is my experience, you know, do what works for you. But if you can trial a bit of phone free time or reduced phone time, you will absolutely feel better for it. What that looks like for you will be perhaps different to what it looks like for me. But connecting to yourself and to others is going to be a lot easier when you're not distracted by all the different functions and shiny things on this smartphone. So I'll leave that one with you. You can sit with that, see how it floats with you. But that was one of the best things I did was have not a lot of time on my phone on retreat. So I feel like there was a lot that I took from this retreat. It was absolutely magical, transformational, because I feel like I've had some inner things that have kind of moved and different realizations that I've had about what I want to do moving forward with how I show up in the world in terms of my work and relationships and things that I would like to do, that I'd like to plan for or incorporate into my life. I've got a lot of things that I'd like to ponder and I'm taking my time with it to just let things arise into that heart space and feel into it as it comes up. There is no rush. That is the thing. Before there was rush. Now I'm deciding there is no rush because a lot of the time in modern culture where we feel like there's rush and urgency, it's actually most of the time it's manufactured and it's not really a life or death situation that we need to be like, oh my gosh, I need to do this straight away. I need to be here at this time. I need to make sure that this is done this way. It's very rigid, I feel, especially in the busy urbanized go, go, go culture. We've got to do things. There's this gotta gotta go energy. Most of the time, we can actually sit back and even just ask ourselves, how necessary is this urgency? How essential is this? Is it really a make or break? Most often, when you ask yourself that, you're like, you know what? No, you can wait. I'm gonna prioritize something else first. So a lot of things, reflections from the retreat there for you. Hopefully, there are some messages there, some insights that you can take into your own life. And if you're thinking of going on retreat, then go for it. Like, just do it. Look, I know it's not that easy to just say, hey, I'm gonna go and retreat, and then just book it straight away. Like, I know, I know that it's not that easy. But if you need permission to go and retreat for a little bit and connect with yourself and reconnect with who you are so that you can feel more safe and more regulated in your body, so that you can come into your life feeling a lot more you and like you can do the things you want to do and show up for who you want to show up for and all of that, then I highly recommend finding a retreat that would work for you. I do know that Chantal Yates has opened up her wait list for next year's retreat. Yay! I'm so glad she's holding it again. So if you have listened to this episode and you're like, whoa, I really want to go on one of Shani's retreats, then definitely check out her website and sign up for the wait list and then she'll give you all the info. I don't know if it'll be the same time or a different time of the year, but just sign up so you can get all the info. And there are a lot of different other retreats out there. So I would say if there's someone out there who you follow their work and you really like what they do, you want to get to know someone first before you spend a retreat with them, then you can do that because there's so many different retreats out there, and I feel like some of them are maybe not as, I guess, close to that definition of what I consider a retreat as others. Chantel's was a really good example of what I consider to be a really deeply nourishing nervous system reset. So, whatever you want from a retreat, you kind of have to look into what would work for you. But hopefully, my experience in sharing that here with you today has given you some inspiration. Uh, you might know someone in your life who could benefit from a retreat. If you would like to share this episode with them, they might really appreciate it. And if you enjoyed it, please do give it a rating or a review on the usual places Apple Podcasts, Spotify, all those other ones. And I would really love for you to show some love to the podcast because more people will see it that way. So thank you for tuning in. Thank you for showing up, and all the best with showing up for yourself, whether it's at a retreat or just in daily life. So thank you so much. Until next time, be well and take care of the city.